Ski Instructor: (Not my usual one - skiing quickly towards me) "Wait right there"
Me: (Startled) "OK, is there a problem?"
Ski Instructor: (coming to an abrupt halt) "You can always spot them"
Me: (Puzzled) "Spot what? The beginners? The nervous one's? The one's that didn't pay?? The one's in the luminous pink hats?"
Ski Instructor: (throwing his eyes up to heaven, with a pained expression on his face) "Right, how long?"
Me: "Eh....two weeks, I'm just learning...."
Ski Instructor: "Not how long have you been skiing"
Me: (Starting to panic) "Eh .. how long have I had this pink hat?"
Ski Instructor: (Now leaning on one pole, with a broad grin on his face) "How long did you go to a Convent school for?"
Me: "WHAT"
Ski Instructor: "I'm right, yes? Come on, how long...."
Me: (Suddenly indignant - standing up trying to make myself as tall as him) "13 years"
Ski Instructor: (Turning round now to stand beside me) "Knew it - can always tell"
Me: "What, tell what??"
Ski Instructor: "The Convent School girls, they always ski with their knees together!"
Me: (Laughing) "What the...."
Ski Instructor: "There's no dignity required when skiing. Right, get those knees apart, and get down that slope double quick time, I'll be right behind looking through your legs. And there is no need to stick your ass out either, those French guys behind you on the Snowboards are not interested......."
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