A new title.

The female who officiated and made the controversial decision at the match last week, has been given a new title. From now on she will be known as 'Just for Men'.

(You only have to use her once and she gets rid of the grey....)

So much for a good education!

Ski Instructor: (Not my usual one - skiing quickly towards me) "Wait right there"
Me:  (Startled) "OK, is there a problem?"
Ski Instructor: (coming to an abrupt halt) "You can always spot them"
Me: (Puzzled) "Spot what? The beginners? The nervous one's? The one's that didn't pay??  The one's in the luminous pink hats?"
Ski Instructor: (throwing his eyes up to heaven, with a pained expression on his face) "Right, how long?"
Me: "Eh....two weeks, I'm just learning...."
Ski Instructor:  "Not how long have you been skiing"
Me: (Starting to panic) "Eh .. how long have I had this pink hat?"
Ski Instructor: (Now leaning on one pole, with a broad grin on his face) "How long did you go to a Convent school for?"
Me: "WHAT"
Ski Instructor: "I'm right, yes? Come on, how long...."
Me: (Suddenly indignant - standing up trying to make myself as tall as him) "13 years"
Ski Instructor: (Turning round now to stand beside me) "Knew it - can always tell"
Me: "What, tell what??"
Ski Instructor: "The Convent School girls, they always ski with their knees together!"
Me: (Laughing) "What the...."
Ski Instructor: "There's no dignity required when skiing.  Right, get those knees apart, and get down that slope double quick time, I'll be right behind looking through your legs.  And there is no need to stick your ass out either, those French guys behind you on the Snowboards are not interested......."

Short lived euphoria!

Lulled into a false sense of security, I was e-mailing away to my hearts content.  This is great, getting loads done.  Looking forward to an inbox full of answers to my questions, solutions to my problems, new queries to keep me busy.  Checked a few times, but was getting no replies to my politely worded, correctly spelt mails.  Hmmm...whats the problem? 

On further investigation, it seems the Dragon has been very clever.  Although we are in a Dungeon, its a very hi-tech one.  The Dragon has remote control....

Oh well, I think I'll just read my book.  Now if only there was some light!

Empty Nest...

It's very quiet in the Dungeon today.  The Dragon is away, on a all conquering quest.  (Vegas, actually!)  He left yesterday with all nostrils blazing.  Nothing was left un-scorched.  Lucky for me I was wearing my asbestos suite.  It's not very flattering, but it does the job well.  I pity any unsuspecting slayers he meets.  If my luck is in, he might meet his match and the brave victorious Knight will rescue me from the Dungeon.  Although, knowing my luck, he would probably be the Black Knight, from Monty Python.....

Imagine, I get to write my own e-mails now....

Cold hands?

I was late this morning, can never depend on that bus.  Had to run, the dragon was roaring (well, ringing the mobile actually).  Hopped off the bus, ran across the road avoiding the very grumpy cyclists, made it to the other side, gingerly avoiding the other running pedestrians, round the corner to where Metro Guy waits.  But I didn't have time to chat this morning.  Not that it would have mattered, he was too busy being chatted up by some other girl.  What??  Not only was she chatting him up, but he gave her two papers!!  Two!!  Right that's it the gloves are off.

Oh well, maybe not, it still a bit cold to have exposed hands...

Postcards from the edge.

I didn't get to the Library yesterday so, I was on the hunt for a book, one that I hadn't already read.  I was in my old bedroom in my parents house.  It's a guest room now and looks completely different from how it looked when I resided there.  There are always books in there, for the guests and left by the guests. Searching for a novel takes ages, 'cos you have to read the back of all of them to see if you recall the story to remind yourself if you have read it or not.  Sometimes I have to read a bit of the book too, just in case!  Anyway, during my search for a novel to read, a Postcard fell out of one of them,  it was addressed to me.  Whoever was reading the book last must have been using it as a book mark.  It's a bit yellow round the edges and the date stamp is 11th June........1981!  It has blue tack in each corner, so I must have had it on the wall at some stage too.

I am still laughing.  It was written by a friend that I have just recently got back in touch with.  She was in Scotland with her sister.  A quote from the card:

"the only time I take off me wellies is when I'm going to bed (and that's only sometimes), and the only big strong hairy beasts I have seen so far are the cattle"...

Her sense of humour is still the same, and she still hasn't taken off the wellies!!

So, I found two books, and some nice memories.  And a new bookmark!

One for Patrick....(from the Master)

One for Patrick...


There was a young fella called Pat
Who's trick was to stand when he sat
His eyes were turned in
And his nose had a grin
And he ate through a hole in his hat!!


Happy Birthday Patrick!

Four faults?

Not having a good day.  So far I have had two (job) refusals.  Is it four faults for a third refusal, or is it instant disqualification?

Suppose I'd better get back on the horse...

To text or not to text....

When you send a SMS, have you 'text' or 'texted'?

e.g,
I sent a text. ?
I text. ?
I texted. ?


Hmm....wouldn't it be easier to just call......!

(Hint:  The spell check doesn't like 'texted', wanted me to change it to 'excited'.  I'm always excited when I get a text, does that help?)

He's back!

Good news, he's back.  Metro guy was there this morning, in his usual spot, smiling and greeting everybody with his happy face and jolly words.  And I get to know what's going on in the world today!  Although.....do I really want to read about Brian Cowan and he ever decreasing cabinet.........effort!!

He said he liked my pink hat!  No, not Brian Cowan, Metro guy!  At least I think that's what he said, his accent is hard to understand.....Northsiders!!!

No news...

Ohh it was cold walking along the Canal this morning, bright and crisp, frost everywhere.  There was no sign of the happy smiling Metro guy.  He is always there chatting and laughing, making sure we all get the paper and cheering us up.  I have nothing to read now, how will I know what's going on in the world today??  I hope he hasn't fallen in......brrrr! 

Life above...

I felt like Alice (in Wonderland!) today when she went through the small door. 

I had to have my photo taken for the staff records.  I was allowed upstairs.  Yes, can you believe it, there is life outside and above the dungeon.  I was a bit afraid, I didn't know what I was going to find.  It was a bit daunting, I had to go through a door, that I didn't know was there, across a dark shadowy corridor, up two flights of very dark stairs, through another door through reception and then, an amazing discovery!!  People, real people, in bright well lit offices, with windows.  My eyes hurt it was so bright.  They were all smiling and friendly.  And very interested in me, the strange creature from the Dungeon......

My joy didn't last long, the Dragon soon roared and I am back in the dungeon again.......but, at least I know now that there is life above.  They said I can come and visit again.  Guess I'll have to wait until the dragon is sleeping....

Humbled!

Just home, and my house is full of young people.  I was sort of annoyed as they are all over my couch. 

My annoyance has quickly turned to admiration.  One of them has just picked up the acoustic guitar, tuned it to the TV and is now playing along to whatever comes on.  Seriously impressed.  I asked for a James Vincent McMorrow tune, expecting to be ridiculed, and was instantly treated to a verse of  'We don't eat'.

I am humbled..........

Bus-tration....

You know that old saying about waiting all day for a bus and then three come together, well it's not just a saying, it is so true.  But what I would like to know is, why do the three come at the time that the last one is due, not when the first one is due.  That makes me late.....grrr!!  Do they not know that the 'Dragon' is  watching......timing.......waiting.....ready to pounce......

Optic-mistic

It happens to us all eventually, apparently.....And I have been lucky to get this far before I have had to 'wear' them.  But its not all bad news.  Seemingly my eyes are in very good health, about as healthy as a 30 year old's.  And there is only a slight defect in the left one.  And I only need them to read a book.  And I don't have to go back for two years.  And, you know, I look quite sexy with...........glasses.............!!

Ski-sickness!

I have caught a bug.  It has made me really sick.  Sick with excitement!!

Why did I never do this before.  Fear, maybe?  I can't believe I have conquered my fear so quickly.  Had my first lesson last night and dying for the next one already.  I did have a bit of a 'wobble' when I got out of the car first and saw the slope.  I nearly turned around and went home, but I was determined.  Not as determined as my instructor, who's reputation was on the line, he vowed to have me on the lift before the lesson was over.  Determination won in the end, I'm not sure if it was his or mine, but he had me on the lift before the first hour was over..........Roll on Friday, so that I can get back there and feel the thrill all over again.  Next stop Bergamo!!


There was a young (?) girl from Old Bawn,
Put ski's on and then she was gone,
to the top of the slope,
with the height she could cope,
and slid gracefully down like a swan.....


I've got ski-sickness.  Perhaps that's why my legs are so sore this morning......

Frustration

I have a pain in my Ulnar nerve, and its not funny.......

Seriously, does anybody have a cure for 'tennis elbow' that works?  I am now so frustrated with it I think the only cure would be to cut my arm off.  OK, OK, I'm joking, I know how debilitating it is with it not working properly, so I couldn't imagine being without my arm at all.  I should probably stop using the keyboard.......

ps.....did you know that your Ulnar nerve is your funny bone.......I am at a loss for words.......

Not so bendy....

I'm writing this in the tree position.  No, not because I have gone back to nature, but because I have just come from my first Yoga class.  And I seem to be stuck in that position......  Will I ever recover?  Not from the position, but the trauma!! Turns out I am not as bendy or a fit as I thought I was.  I am able to breath tho', that is when I do actually remember to.  And as for the instructor, she is very bendy, and only the size of a twig.  A very bendy twig.  And very beautiful......I felt like a lump of unpliable lard which she had to keep adjusting to get some sort of shape to. 

I do mock, but it was fun.  Can't wait to go back next week.  That is if I can manage to straighten myself out and untangle myself from this twisted pose I am in......

The music was nice!!

and another...

There was a young lad from Kippure
who traded in farm yard manure
one day on the road
he fell into his load
And now his friend's are much fewer......

Stop now....enough.....my sides are splitting.....

The Master at work again...

One off the top of his head,

There was a young fella from Rome
Who would travel and never stay home
He got on his bike
Said I'll go where I like
And spent the year in an igloo in Nome!!

And another....

There was a young fella from Sligo
Who said where ever my ship goes then I'll go
He hoisted the sail
and through rain and hail
Got shipwrecked in Trinidad and Tobago

And another....

There was a young lad from Tobago
who like his nachos served up with sago
He ate chili and spice
said that's very nice
and then changed his name to Diego!!

And another...

There was a young fella called Finn
Who swallowed a half pint of gin
He took off his clothes
and went for a doze
and woke up in a green wheelie bin

And another...

There was a young fella called Paul
who went to a fancy dress ball
He dressed as a mop
with feathers on top
and he swept all the girls round the hall

I am laughing too much to write any more down.  And these are only a few of the many he has written on a page with not a inch of it left blank.  Kevin said he should write a book of them.  I really will have to rethink my whole strategy here, I have no chance of holding on to the crown with this sort of talent in operation.

11 D...

I saw two, not one but TWO, 11 D registered cars today!  Whats going on.  I thought the Motor Industry collapsed when I left it (or when it left me.....!).  But, neither of them were Kia's....wooooo, ha ha ha ha (Evil laugh)!!!.

Exasperation!!

I knew this would happen.  I don't know why I am annoyed and exasperated.  It's the same every year, no matter how many times I try or how many different configurations I use.  The Christmas decorations just won't fit back into the boxes they came out of.  I have an empty bin outside......it's very tempting.....

Is it time to go the 'Institution' yet, I need a drink.

I'm back!

It's Friday!!  It's hard to tell, every day is the same here in the Dungeon. 

Hope you all had a lovely New Year and went out and celebrated.  I didn't make any resolutions, but I am hoping for the best year ever.  It has to be better for me than last year was.  Although it didn't get off to a very good start for me, but that was all my own fault.  I messed up my flight home from London (went there for the new year celebrations, which were great) and by the time I had finished messing it up it cost me a fortune to get home.  Then I was too late to check in on line and the very nice (eh.....NOT) people at Ryan Air charged me 40 sgt to get on the plane.  AND as if that wasn't bad enough then the lovely car park people at Dublin Airport charged me a fortune for being over my time in the car park.  Well I expected to pay a 'late' charge, but I didn't expect to have to buy the whole building!!  Anyway that was the last straw, I am fighting with them now over the charge.  I am determined to win.  Watch this space.  Well I learned a lesson if nothing else.  Next time I book flights, I will be sober.  I will be sober, I WILL be sober........  I could have had two trips to London for what I paid to get home.  And as if all that wasn't bad enough I have to put up with the slagging I am getting from my family too.  Grrr.... But, a nice diversion to all that trauma is my next trip, Skiing, in Italy in February.  (Haven't told the Dragon yet!!)  That is of course, if I can be trusted to book the right flights to the right airport on the right day, at the right time, :-)

And speaking of travelling.  My latest form of travel for work is Public Transport.  And yesterday I was treated to a lovely surprise.  I could actually see out of the window of the Bus I was on.  What a treat!  Well done to the driver who has enough pride in his job to get out there and wash the grime from his vehicle.  Apart from the dirty windows, its not that bad a way to travel.  You get lovely views (when the windows are clean) of everything when you sit upstairs, and its funny what you notice.  The things people leave on their window ledges.  AND I don't have to worry about traffic, and I can read.  I am on my second book already.  Sometimes I think the journey is too short, especially when I get to a good bit in the book and then all of a sudden its time to get off!  One of these days I will get so engrossed that I will miss my stop.  I will have to visit the Library again now on a regular basis to keep myself stocked up with novels to read.  Any suggestions/recommendations anyone??

It's nice to be back.....