I checked the caller ID. Ah it's F, cool!
S: Hello there!
F Hello yourself, what are you up to.
S Nothing much, the usual, making dinner walking the dog etc., you?
F Just working away.
S Good, how's R?
F Ah she is grand, do you know what she said today...
So we spent a few minutes discussing how crazy R is and how M parents were...
F How's K?
S Grand, driving me mad, as usual!
F Good stuff, just what I like to hear. Actually I am ringing you for a reason,
S No I'm not babysitting, unless you put the rates up, all that reading of bedtime stories has led me to wear glasses, and they are expensive!
F I don't want you to babysit.
S And why not, it wasn't me that drank that bottle of Cava, it must have been R! And I have already explained how the cat came to be trapped under the fridge...
F (Laughing) Stop!! I have a serious proposition for you.
S Excellent, is it a job?
F Well, sort of...
S OK, I'm listening.
F Do you remember last year we ran a competition for 'Grid Girls' for the Bike racing.
S (Suddenly very interested) Y...e....s.....
F And we got four girls from the competition, who turned out to be really good.
S Yes, I remember, the case of the spotted knickers!
F Yes, (laughing) exactly!
S I don't have any spotted knickers, sorry!
F Stop...listen
S OK,
F Well one of the girls has moved on to become a TV presenter, so we are down to three girls
S (OMG, is he going to ask me to be a grid girl. I don't know how I would look in a lycra suit, and yellow is not really my colour!!) Nice, good for her!!
F So that leaves us one short
S Yes I can add (hmm, I'll have to wax my legs, and I don't think I have a flesh coloured thong)
F Myself and John were having a discussion about it, and we thought we might run another competition
S OK (slightly confused now - are they going to rig it so that I will win??)
F And it has all become too much for me...
S Really, I thought hanging around with girls in yellow lycra suits would be just your thing!
F No the admin of it has become too much for me, so we were wondering
S (Wait a minute, admin, I don't think I like where this is going) Go on...
F Well we thought we could get somebody else to take it over and be like a co-ordinator for the girls.
S Yes that's a good idea, (I hope she is somebody I can work with)
F So we thought of you,
S Yes but how will you fix it so that I win the competition.
F What competition, it's a job, you will get paid,
S Oh great, I get to wear a lycra suit and get paid for it.
F Ah no you don't have to wear the lycra suit.
S Why, did the last girl not leave it back?
F She did, (getting annoyed) but it will go to the new girl.
S Exactly, so how much do I get paid, and will I get expenses for getting my hair and nails done etc...
F Why would you need to have your hair done (very confused)
S Cos they always have to look their best when standing on the grid, under those yellow umbrellas!! You don't want me letting the side down now do you?
F But you won't be on the grid.....
S What do you mean
F You will be in the Pit, organizing the girls...
S Wha....
F You'll be great at it, just your thing
S (deciding if I should hang up or not)
F And you get to be around all those bikers and get paid for it too..
S (suddenly interested again) OK,(sulking), I suppose it is worth thinking about. I am a bit disappointed that you didn't think of me for the lycra suit.
F It's a bike competition we are running, not a vintage car one!!
S - I hung up -
The phone rang....
I checked the caller ID.....
I ignored it...
great read,that is both exactly how it happened and nothing like it happened all at the saame time. Siobhan you are wasted living in that dungeon you should be script writing.
ReplyDeleteAh but scriptwriters don't get to wear the yellow Lycra...
ReplyDelete