A not so bad day.

Well reality has finally hit home. I’m definitely feeling the effects of the build up of the chemotherapy in my body now. 

As you may know, I can’t drive myself to or from the hospital, so that’s Tall Kevin’s job.  When he’s unable to, for some reason or another, I have a group of reserve drivers on standby.  Dad is on this list, and was the designated bring me home driver for today.

The last time Dad collected me I didn’t have any treatment because my bloods were too low.  Well, he’s officially off the list for collecting me now as, yes you've guessed it, I didn’t get any treatment today either!

I got a very bad score today in my assessment.  The questions I usually answer yes to, I answered no to, the questions I usually answer no to, I answered yes to and the questions I usually answer sometimes to I answered all the time to.  But I suppose I shouldn’t complain as I’ve gotten far without too much trouble.  My fingers not working properly, not my bloods, were the catalyst today.  The little bit I could do around the house is getting harder and harder to do and I keep dropping things, so I had to admit this to the nurse today.  I’ve already dropped the lid of my butter dish and broke off the little bird that sits on the top which is actually the handle.  Luckily Dad is handy with super glue (I’ll keep him on the list for those sort of jobs) and had it back together in no time.  But the most annoying thing about having butterfingers (ha!) is that I can’t take the wrappers off the sweets I’ve become addicted to.  Once the nurses heard this, that was it, I was marched straight in to see the grumpy man in the suit, and after answering all the same questions that I answered for the nurse, he declared that I’d had enough!  Enough Taxol that is, not sweets.  Phew!

But I suppose that would have been the worst thing that could happen, not eating sweets that is, as I don’t want my teeth to fall out from all the sugar in the sweets and as I’ve already lost my hair, if I also lose my teeth I may as well change my name to Healy-Rae and move to the Kingdom!  

I’ve no idea how quickly the feeling will come back into my fingers, so the next person that comes in and asks if there is anything they can do for me I’m going to get them to take all the wrappers off the sweets.  Priorities!  And of course it’s always better to be prepared for emergencies.

So the upside to this is that now I will be getting the A/C combination drug two weeks earlier (which doesn't cause peripheral neuropathy), and all going well, this means I’ll be finished with NM earlier than expected.  Result!  By coincidence I bumped into her while I was waiting for the lift.  She was very concerned that she got it so wrong with my skin, which has erupted fiercely over the last couple of weeks with psoriasis, and she’s gone off to see how/if she can fix that for me.  So I suppose she’s not the worst after all.

I’m also going to have to think about reducing my working hours.  The nurse in the dressing clinic, where I go to have my port connected and my bloods taken, was amazed that I’m still working and gave me a dressing (sorry!) down and a stern talking to about ‘looking after number one’.  I was too tired to argue with her and I suppose she does have a point.  So having the A/C a couple of weeks early is also good from this point of view as I had told my work colleagues that I probably wouldn’t be able to work whilst getting this much stronger combination.  I’m struggling with fatigue too, and it’s going to get worse over the next few weeks, so cutting down my hours or stopping work altogether will happen sooner than I expected also.  Apparently everything else is going to get worse too, nausea, mouth ulcers, pain, so it may seem crazy to be happy that the A/C is starting earlier than expected, but I am just happy that it’s going to be over earlier than expected.

An other side effect of the A/C that doesn’t happen with Taxol is the small chance that it can effect your heart.  So I was trotted off today to have an ultrasound on my heart.  I found this fascinating.  I would have stayed there all day asking questions and watching the pictures of my heart working away.  The radiographer doing the scan was great and explained everything as we went along.  It reminded me of the lesson we had in school when we had to buy a pigs heart from a local butcher and bring it in and dissect it.  My one overriding image memory of that day is the Nun (I can't remember her name but no doubt Irene Kenny will!!) with her hands dug into the arteries of the pigs heart and rummaging around to her hearts (ha!) content.  Yikes!  My imagery for today is way better, and much more hi-tech and everybody's hands were where everybody could see them!  They will never give you results while doing the scan, but she did indicate that everything ls looking good and my heart is in good shape.  Lets hope it stays like that!

So all in all, what could have been another disappointing day, turned into a not so bad one.  

And, as an added bonus, it's Cian's birthday today, and he is here, so we had cake.  A perfect ending!