Art-e facts!

I’m just back from a lovely weekend in London!  ‘Lovely’ being the operative word here.  Not only did I have a ‘lovely’ time, but the weather was ‘lovely’.  It was really ‘Spring’ like, sunny and bright. 

Normally when I go to London I travel everywhere by tube.  So off I set on Saturday morning on my little adventure into the big City.  Got to the tube station at the top of the road, and oh no, disaster, the line was closed for the weekend.  And lurking in the car park outside was the alternate form of transport, a big red London bus.   The very helpful conductor must have seen my (very fleeting) moment of panic and quickly told me how I could get to my destination – London Bridge – in several different ways, including a trip on his shiny bus.  Well, who needs the tube anyway! 

I got on the bus, after I had received further instructions on reaching my destination by a long haired denim wearing (drunk) American who overheard my conversation with the conductor.  He also told me that I looked like an angel and I could come and have a drink with him and his friends.  Pity I already had a date… My luck was in (eh, not!!)   Me thinks he was already a few drinks ahead of his friends!   Anyway, after what initially seemed a daunting prospect, I really enjoyed my bus journey.  I got to see the ‘outside’ of London for a change, instead of just the walls of the tunnels streaking by as I sit on the tube.  It was quite nice to watch the world go by instead, as I sat on a bus having no idea where I was going and which way it was going to turn next.  Eventually we got to a tube station where the trains were running, ran with all the other bus passengers and hopped on the tube.  


And then we were treated to hilarity by the comedy train announcer.  He was obviously fed up with the way things were (not) running that day and made us all aware of his dissatisfaction.  At each station he called out the route that the train was taking and the stations that were closed.  And after calling that out as if reading a script, he then ad-libbed a bit.  We were treated to:

“There should be nobody left on platform 2, as there are no trains going northbound today” (and then very loudly with an exaggerated sigh) “some people just can’t be told….”

Next station:

“Please get on board this train now”….(more exaggerated sighing)” unless you wish to stay on that platform until Monday, when the trains will be running again….”

Next station:

“I promise I won’t be making this announcement again….unless there are some people on board who still haven’t got it…”

I laughed all the way to London Bridge and didn’t even care that I was half an hour late for my rendezvous.   I eventually met my accomplice, and we ate our way round Borough Market.  What a great place.  I had a veggie burger served by a guy who had those round things that you put into your ear lobes, that eventually make a hole.  I was fascinated by them, they were the size of a penny, and didn’t pay any attention to what he was putting in my food box, which turned out to be very tasty.  He on the other hand was fascinated by my accent and asked me where I was from.  When I said Ireland, he said Dublin?  I thought, cool, nice one!  Then he asked me if that was north or south….

We ate our lunch ‘al fresco’ in the sunshine, sitting on a stone wall which made our asses numb, and then made our way across the dug up cobbles (apparently they are relaying all the cobbles in London to make it all look presentable for the Olympics) to our final destination, the Tate Modern.   I was a little bit daunted at the thought of viewing art in the company of an art teacher/artist.  Would my art ignorance be exposed??  I needn’t have worried, the art teacher said that it doesn’t matter if you like it or not, if the art gets a reaction, positive or negative, then the artist has achieved their goal.  10 - 0 to me so....

I came out of the exhibition with spots before my eyes…literally!  But that was because we went to look at Yayoi Kusama’s exhibition.   What a woman, look her up, she is amazing!  She covers everything in spots.   Apparently all the trees on the South Bank of the river had been wrapped in red and white polka dot ribbons to advertise her exhibition.  I'm sorry I missed that.

And because my partner in crime (well....art!) is a member of the Tate, we were able to go into the members bar and have a glass of bubbly stuff whilst sitting on the balcony overlooking the Thames.  The things I have to do!!  Although, the drinks were so expensive, I thought I had purchased a piece of art along with them….  Never mind, it all added up to a really good day out in London. 


I did have to get back on the Tube and go to another party..... it involved two cakes, someone falling off their chair, a secateurs and a headstone....but that's for another blog...

Will the real Slim Shady...

This place has been very quiet these last few weeks!....It's been a long wait since she last appeared, it was New Year's Eve, almost five weeks ago, the last time she treated us to her specialty!!...The crowd are anticipating a very entertaining evening, but then, it always is when she is around....The house is packed, (well it's Mortons, so that means there are three people there, including the bar man)....

At last, it's time....Suddenly, the MC (Alan the barman) shouts at the top of his voice over the thronging masses:  "And now, what you have all been waiting for.....WILL THE REAL JOAN MURPHY* PLEASE STAND UP?"  (Actually, that's a rough translation, what he really said with a heavy sigh, was:  Lads, mind your beer....she's back!)

The music starts with a drum roll (waking Seamus** who was asleep at the end of the bar) and is loud and full of energy....The lights come on (jeez....just look at those cobwebs), OMG the excitement (they usually only get this excited when a new flavour of crisps is introduced)....And...Then...as if by magic 'She' appears....

The crowd are on their feet (well, those of them that can find their zimmerframes are).  A vision appears from stage left (eh..the hatch from the Off Licence) in very high heels, her bottle of red wine clamped firmly in place by her bra strap, her arms waving in the air, her fingers posed in that certain style that only true rappers can do (when I do it, I just look like I am giving the old 'Harvey Smith'), and she struts along the bar, singing:

Uh...my name is....
Uh...my name is....
Uh...my name is........Joan Murphy.....!


The crowd can't contain themselves (thank god the toilets are near by), riotous applause ensues (probably because she didn't knock over any pints), and lots of pairs of boxer shorts (somebody had brought their laundry with them) are flung along the bar where she is dancing. ....

Meanwhile, Anthony* (her long suffering husband) has left for Delaney's....


*Names have been changed to protect the innocent Anthony and Joan Murphy's out there!
**Seamus doesn't need protecting, as he is usually asleep...




Disclaimer:  Any similarity to persons or places, real or imaginary named in this blog, is purely coincidental......Oh wait!!!

No more please!!

OK!  I've had enough....  I really don't want to hear anymore.  Every radio station, every pub with music, every supermarket, and today, McDonalds! (Don't ask me what I was doing in McDonalds....it's a long story)!!

I've tried putting my hands over my ears when a track comes on the radio, but as I only really listen to the radio in the car, eh that's not ideal...  I've tried putting my hands over my ears in the supermarket, but then it's hard to push the trolley load it...  I tried putting my  hands over my ears today in McDonalds, but then I couldn't hear what my friend was saying....

I wanted to cry, with frustration.

I do love her songs, and when they came out first, I was struck by how powerful, insightful, deep and meaningful they were.  But now I just want to scream or punch her when I hear one!!!  (Well not really punch her, but you know what I mean).

So come on Adele, you're a lovely girl and I really like you singing but, please please please, write and sing a happy song.  I will be glad to sing along...

And to help you along, here's an example for you from another Adele (yes she is called Adele, but she uses her middle name), go on I dare you...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nwdjQmc_N8

Oh and BTW, when I did finally take my hands from over my ears and used them to drink my coffee in McDonalds, it was really nice.....I might go back.....

Just my luck...

This time of the year always makes me want to plan.  I don't think I am alone in this.

Every year it's the same, lots of research, making a list, checking it twice, ticking all the boxes, doing the hard work, getting as much information together as I can.  This year (as I couldn't really plan last year, because I didn't have a job), I though especially long and hard about it.

I spent quite a few evenings on the Internet, searching endless sites, and countless different permutations and combinations.  I don't mind....I quite like the research, you never know where it can take you.  Anyway, I changed my mind over and over, and finally found the right 'thing' for me, and made a decision.  A decision I was really pleased with.

I was going to do something that I have never done before, a challenge that I thought would be different, interesting and perhaps educational all in one.

I choose the destination, the company, and was just about to put down a deposit.....

And then.....

What, I hear you say, what happened??

Well........I was planning a Mediterranean Cruise for my holidays.....

Oh well, back to the drawing board!  How about 10 nights in Dingle?  Nice, but not quite the same.....

.......and.....we're back!!

Hello again!  Its been ages since I dropped in here!

So what have you all been doing.  I have been really busy.....

I decided to stay in this weekend, because I realized that it has been six week(end)s since I have spent a Friday (or a Saturday) night staying in.  Between Kevin's 21st and then Christmas Parties, Christmas, New Year and then another 21st in Cork, its been one weekend after the other of...eh...em...excess??

I feel like I should be in the confessional!  Bless Forgive me Father Bloggers, cos I have sinned, its been three weeks (or is that four or five) since my last confession blog!! :-)  My penance now is to clean my very untidy and neglected house!  A rather harsh penance I think, since it wasn't just me that made it messy!  Those of you that know me, wont believe this, but it really is messy, so messy that if a burglar broke in, he would think that another burglar has been here before him!!  :-)  The old jokes are the best!

So, whilst carrying out my penance, a question came to mind.....Why is it, that the tiles on the inside of the shower are dirtier than the tiles on the outside of the shower.  They're in the shower, for heavens sake, they get washed at least twice a day, so how can they be so dirty!!  Somebody tell me the answer, please.  And don't give me the science version, just give me the plain ordinary everyday explanation and then the solution.  Cos science wasn't my thing at school...actually on that subject (ha!) I'm not sure what was my thing in school.  Is there a subject called 'must try harder'?  Cos if so then I must have excelled at that, because it was on all of my reports!! :-)  (I hope Kevin isn't reading this).

Well, I must try harder at my blogging too.  I did promise myself that I would write everyday starting from the 1st of January, so I'm only 13 days late, or is that 12?.  (Math wasn't my thing either).  Hmm that's not a very good start.  I'll have to write two or three times for the next few days to catch up, yikes, that means that my house work will be neglected again.  BIG SIGH.

In the meantime, all this domesticity has made me very thirsty.....and somebody put a bottle in the fridge earlier, so I really should go and rescue it, we don't want it to catch a cold now do we....and anyway, I need something to do while I wait on the answers to my question.  Take your time with the answers...we don't want to rush anything here....tomorrow will do....I rather wait and get it right....no really....no rush now....eh....what was the question again?

Something to think about...

Hope you are all having a lovely holiday!  I am, and it's not over yet! :-)

But aside from all the festivities, I attended a funeral today, an old aunt/sister-in-law of my Mothers, 88 years of age.  I didn't really know her very well, but I went anyway as you do to these things.  It was a sad occasion for her family especially at this time of year, and they all, Children and Grandchildren alike, paid her some lovely tributes.  They also brought up some gifts to go with her, on her journey.   Among them was her 'Sunday Purse', a purse she brought to Mass with her every week, in which she kept her lighter to light a candle.  How quaint!  Also included was her remote control, because she loved the TV so much and it kept her up to date with current affairs which she quizzed her Children on when they came to visit.  Clever lady!  Her glasses and a book were there too, because neither were every very far away from her hands.  Well read woman!!

So....that got me thinking.  The heathen that I am, I don't go to Mass, so therefore I don't have the 'Sunday Purse'.  And as I have told you all before, I don't watch TV very often, and even on the odd occasion that I do, there is no way I would ever be given control of the remote!  Needless to say, I am far too young to have to wear glasses (cough, cough)....

Would this make you think about what your Children/Grandchildren would offer as a gift or gifts for you?  I am afraid that after giving it some thought, I have come to the conclusion that all that my child will have to put in with me, is my laptop and a bottle of Cava!  Not much of a tribute!  But it's OK, I have also come to the conclusion that I still have time to correct this and give him something meaningful to remember me by!  I just better get working on it right away.

Oh wait.....I just thought, I do have a Saturday Night purse (the one that holds the money for the Cava!) but that's not really quite the same thing, is it....?

RIP Aideen, it was lovely to see your family today, and how proud they were of you!

Merry Christmas

Hello...
Long time no blog...

How have you all been?

Well, I've been really busy the last few weeks and I can't believe another year is over. Where did it go? Looking back, it was a weird year for me, with unemployment and uncertainty playing leading roles in the epic drama, and it was the complete opposite to 2010. 2010 was a good year with a really bad ending but 2011 was a bad year with a really good ending! I don't know which I preferred! So....what does 2012 hold for me? :-). Who knows?? Maybe Santa Clause will leave me a crystal ball tonight and then all my questions will be answered! Actually, thinking about that, I'm not really sure that I would like to know what the future holds...unless of course I could see next week's Lotto numbers!!

Anyway I just stopped by to say 'Merry Christmas' to you all and thanks for dropping in over the year. Normal service should be resumed in the new year. And speaking of new years, a very happy one of those to you all too!!

Have a lovely holiday, with whoever you are spending it with, be it friends or family.
Back soon....watch this space...
XX