This place has been very quiet these last few weeks!....It's been a long wait since she last appeared, it was New Year's Eve, almost five weeks ago, the last time she treated us to her specialty!!...The crowd are anticipating a very entertaining evening, but then, it always is when she is around....The house is packed, (well it's Mortons, so that means there are three people there, including the bar man)....
At last, it's time....Suddenly, the MC (Alan the barman) shouts at the top of his voice over the thronging masses: "And now, what you have all been waiting for.....WILL THE REAL JOAN MURPHY* PLEASE STAND UP?" (Actually, that's a rough translation, what he really said with a heavy sigh, was: Lads, mind your beer....she's back!)
The music starts with a drum roll (waking Seamus** who was asleep at the end of the bar) and is loud and full of energy....The lights come on (jeez....just look at those cobwebs), OMG the excitement (they usually only get this excited when a new flavour of crisps is introduced)....And...Then...as if by magic 'She' appears....
The crowd are on their feet (well, those of them that can find their zimmerframes are). A vision appears from stage left (eh..the hatch from the Off Licence) in very high heels, her bottle of red wine clamped firmly in place by her bra strap, her arms waving in the air, her fingers posed in that certain style that only true rappers can do (when I do it, I just look like I am giving the old 'Harvey Smith'), and she struts along the bar, singing:
Uh...my name is....
Uh...my name is....
Uh...my name is........Joan Murphy.....!
The crowd can't contain themselves (thank god the toilets are near by), riotous applause ensues (probably because she didn't knock over any pints), and lots of pairs of boxer shorts (somebody had brought their laundry with them) are flung along the bar where she is dancing. ....
Meanwhile, Anthony* (her long suffering husband) has left for Delaney's....
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent Anthony and Joan Murphy's out there!
**Seamus doesn't need protecting, as he is usually asleep...
Disclaimer: Any similarity to persons or places, real or imaginary named in this blog, is purely coincidental......Oh wait!!!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
No more please!!
OK! I've had enough.... I really don't want to hear anymore. Every radio station, every pub with music, every supermarket, and today, McDonalds! (Don't ask me what I was doing in McDonalds....it's a long story)!!
I've tried putting my hands over my ears when a track comes on the radio, but as I only really listen to the radio in the car, eh that's not ideal... I've tried putting my hands over my ears in the supermarket, but then it's hard to push the trolley load it... I tried putting my hands over my ears today in McDonalds, but then I couldn't hear what my friend was saying....
I wanted to cry, with frustration.
I do love her songs, and when they came out first, I was struck by how powerful, insightful, deep and meaningful they were. But now I just want to scream or punch her when I hear one!!! (Well not really punch her, but you know what I mean).
So come on Adele, you're a lovely girl and I really like you singing but, please please please, write and sing a happy song. I will be glad to sing along...
And to help you along, here's an example for you from another Adele (yes she is called Adele, but she uses her middle name), go on I dare you...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nwdjQmc_N8
Oh and BTW, when I did finally take my hands from over my ears and used them to drink my coffee in McDonalds, it was really nice.....I might go back.....
I've tried putting my hands over my ears when a track comes on the radio, but as I only really listen to the radio in the car, eh that's not ideal... I've tried putting my hands over my ears in the supermarket, but then it's hard to push the trolley load it... I tried putting my hands over my ears today in McDonalds, but then I couldn't hear what my friend was saying....
I wanted to cry, with frustration.
I do love her songs, and when they came out first, I was struck by how powerful, insightful, deep and meaningful they were. But now I just want to scream or punch her when I hear one!!! (Well not really punch her, but you know what I mean).
So come on Adele, you're a lovely girl and I really like you singing but, please please please, write and sing a happy song. I will be glad to sing along...
And to help you along, here's an example for you from another Adele (yes she is called Adele, but she uses her middle name), go on I dare you...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nwdjQmc_N8
Oh and BTW, when I did finally take my hands from over my ears and used them to drink my coffee in McDonalds, it was really nice.....I might go back.....
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Just my luck...
This time of the year always makes me want to plan. I don't think I am alone in this.
Every year it's the same, lots of research, making a list, checking it twice, ticking all the boxes, doing the hard work, getting as much information together as I can. This year (as I couldn't really plan last year, because I didn't have a job), I though especially long and hard about it.
I spent quite a few evenings on the Internet, searching endless sites, and countless different permutations and combinations. I don't mind....I quite like the research, you never know where it can take you. Anyway, I changed my mind over and over, and finally found the right 'thing' for me, and made a decision. A decision I was really pleased with.
I was going to do something that I have never done before, a challenge that I thought would be different, interesting and perhaps educational all in one.
I choose the destination, the company, and was just about to put down a deposit.....
And then.....
What, I hear you say, what happened??
Well........I was planning a Mediterranean Cruise for my holidays.....
Oh well, back to the drawing board! How about 10 nights in Dingle? Nice, but not quite the same.....
Every year it's the same, lots of research, making a list, checking it twice, ticking all the boxes, doing the hard work, getting as much information together as I can. This year (as I couldn't really plan last year, because I didn't have a job), I though especially long and hard about it.
I spent quite a few evenings on the Internet, searching endless sites, and countless different permutations and combinations. I don't mind....I quite like the research, you never know where it can take you. Anyway, I changed my mind over and over, and finally found the right 'thing' for me, and made a decision. A decision I was really pleased with.
I was going to do something that I have never done before, a challenge that I thought would be different, interesting and perhaps educational all in one.
I choose the destination, the company, and was just about to put down a deposit.....
And then.....
What, I hear you say, what happened??
Well........I was planning a Mediterranean Cruise for my holidays.....
Oh well, back to the drawing board! How about 10 nights in Dingle? Nice, but not quite the same.....
Friday, January 13, 2012
.......and.....we're back!!
Hello again! Its been ages since I dropped in here!
So what have you all been doing. I have been really busy.....
I decided to stay in this weekend, because I realized that it has been six week(end)s since I have spent a Friday (or a Saturday) night staying in. Between Kevin's 21st and then Christmas Parties, Christmas, New Year and then another 21st in Cork, its been one weekend after the other of...eh...em...excess??
I feel like I should be in the confessional!Bless Forgive me Father Bloggers, cos I have sinned, its been three weeks (or is that four or five) since my last confession blog!! :-) My penance now is to clean my very untidy and neglected house! A rather harsh penance I think, since it wasn't just me that made it messy! Those of you that know me, wont believe this, but it really is messy, so messy that if a burglar broke in, he would think that another burglar has been here before him!! :-) The old jokes are the best!
So, whilst carrying out my penance, a question came to mind.....Why is it, that the tiles on the inside of the shower are dirtier than the tiles on the outside of the shower. They're in the shower, for heavens sake, they get washed at least twice a day, so how can they be so dirty!! Somebody tell me the answer, please. And don't give me the science version, just give me the plain ordinary everyday explanation and then the solution. Cos science wasn't my thing at school...actually on that subject (ha!) I'm not sure what was my thing in school. Is there a subject called 'must try harder'? Cos if so then I must have excelled at that, because it was on all of my reports!! :-) (I hope Kevin isn't reading this).
Well, I must try harder at my blogging too. I did promise myself that I would write everyday starting from the 1st of January, so I'm only 13 days late, or is that 12?. (Math wasn't my thing either). Hmm that's not a very good start. I'll have to write two or three times for the next few days to catch up, yikes, that means that my house work will be neglected again. BIG SIGH.
In the meantime, all this domesticity has made me very thirsty.....and somebody put a bottle in the fridge earlier, so I really should go and rescue it, we don't want it to catch a cold now do we....and anyway, I need something to do while I wait on the answers to my question. Take your time with the answers...we don't want to rush anything here....tomorrow will do....I rather wait and get it right....no really....no rush now....eh....what was the question again?
So what have you all been doing. I have been really busy.....
I decided to stay in this weekend, because I realized that it has been six week(end)s since I have spent a Friday (or a Saturday) night staying in. Between Kevin's 21st and then Christmas Parties, Christmas, New Year and then another 21st in Cork, its been one weekend after the other of...eh...em...excess??
I feel like I should be in the confessional!
So, whilst carrying out my penance, a question came to mind.....Why is it, that the tiles on the inside of the shower are dirtier than the tiles on the outside of the shower. They're in the shower, for heavens sake, they get washed at least twice a day, so how can they be so dirty!! Somebody tell me the answer, please. And don't give me the science version, just give me the plain ordinary everyday explanation and then the solution. Cos science wasn't my thing at school...actually on that subject (ha!) I'm not sure what was my thing in school. Is there a subject called 'must try harder'? Cos if so then I must have excelled at that, because it was on all of my reports!! :-) (I hope Kevin isn't reading this).
Well, I must try harder at my blogging too. I did promise myself that I would write everyday starting from the 1st of January, so I'm only 13 days late, or is that 12?. (Math wasn't my thing either). Hmm that's not a very good start. I'll have to write two or three times for the next few days to catch up, yikes, that means that my house work will be neglected again. BIG SIGH.
In the meantime, all this domesticity has made me very thirsty.....and somebody put a bottle in the fridge earlier, so I really should go and rescue it, we don't want it to catch a cold now do we....and anyway, I need something to do while I wait on the answers to my question. Take your time with the answers...we don't want to rush anything here....tomorrow will do....I rather wait and get it right....no really....no rush now....eh....what was the question again?
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