A story for Joan...

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful golden haired girl called Siobhan (What?...I'm writing this story, so I can be anything I like!!) who loved the sunshine.  Every morning without fail, even in the winter, she would jump out of bed (OK, that might be a slight exaggeration...) cross over the room high up in the tower in her castle (her 3 bed semi in Old Bawn!), pull open the curtains, roll up the blinds, brush away the cobwebs, throw open the shutters, wait for the cloud of dust to settle, then peer through the very clean (hmmm) window hoping to be greeted with beautiful sunshine... But, alas living in Ireland, usually 364 out of the 365 days of the year, she was disappointed. 

But she never gave up hope. 

One morning during her usual routine she noticed the Postman riding across the bridge over the moat that surrounded her castle...(Come on....use your imagination).  While hanging out the window to get a better look, (actually, her Postman is very trendy, he delivers his letters every morning whilst jogging!!) she noticed that he had a large pink sparkly envelope sticking out of his bag with her name on it (she has great eyesight!). That sight really brightened up her day and made up for the lack of sunshine, because she knew exactly who that letter was from.

It was from her friend who lived far far away in a very hot and sunny place called the Caribbean.  Siobhan knew that inside that big sparkly envelope (confession...they are really e-mails, not letters in pink envelopes) would be tales of magical breakfasts on Blue Mountain, while spotting celebrities at Strawberry Hill.  Tales of lazy days lying on the beach at Montego Bay.  Stories of amazing Jerk Chicken that had to be eaten for dinner.  Snippets of afternoons spent sitting by the pool drinking rum.  Weekends spent at Dunns river falls.  Days spent without wearing a cardigan.  (What!!  Not even one cardigan?  Never mind the hoodie the thermal vest the thick socks and the boots that are Siobhan's uniform at the moment!!)  What a life...

Siobhan shouted down to the Postman and he threw the eagerly awaited letter (and a kiss - I told you, it's my story!!).  As usual, this one told of the fabulous sunshine that Siobhan could only dream of....BIG SIGH...  This letter also mentioned afternoons spent wandering around Coffee plantations....having manicures and pedicures on the beach....visiting Bob Marley's museum...lying on the beach at Fort Clarence...checking out a rasta camp...going sailing...swimming at Dolphin Cove...all done while basking in beautiful sunshine and temperatures of 38 degrees...  How Siobhan envied her friend.

But this letter mentioned one more thing. 

A couple of weeks ago Siobhan had ridden around Ireland for charity, on her trusty mare 'Harley', (I know, I know, it was a bike, but that wouldn't fit in with the story).  Her far far away friend had promised to sponsor her and offered a bag full of gold coins.  Very generous.  This letter told how her her friend had collected all the coins and would now gladly part with them....but...(there's always a but)...Siobhan would have to come and get them herself!!! 

OMG, what a challenge! 

Siobhan fell out of the window in excitement!! (Right on top of the poor Postman who was still waiting for his kiss back...)

Well, never being one to shirk from a challenge, Siobhan picked herself up off the ground, ran up the winding stone staircase, dragged her trunk down from the turret (attic) in her castle, took her summer clothes out of moth balls (they have been there since that great summer in 1978) summoned her carriage (booked a flight on a British Airways jet) and is all ready now to eat Jerk Chicken....drink rum....do some lying on the beach...not wear a cardigan...run up blue Mountain...swim in Dolphin Cove...because she is going to...

JAMAICA!!

Only two more weeks of looking out the window and longing...

Proud to be Iri....Jedi?

Did I miss something?  Did I wake up and find that the recession is over and we are back to being a buoyant little country again?

Has this government worked so hard over the last year, that all our unemployment, fiscal and many other problems have been solved.

Have our government got everything so up to date that they no longer have to discuss:

State Finances
Unemployment issues
Pensioners Tax Liabilities
Household and Water charges
Etc, etc, etc...

These and many more issues that have dogged out little country for the past couple of years must have all been solved.  Because, yesterday in the Dail, the hot topic for discussion was the 'Jedi' religion.

One prominent TD who will remain nameless, (Eoghan Murphy, you know who you are), wanted to know how many Jedi Knights we have in Ireland.  And if we had enough Jedi Knights, would it be possible to have 'Jedi' officially as a religion in Ireland. 

The Central Statistics office are looking into it at the moment.  And they have assured the esteemed TD that they will send him on the figures from the latest Census.  (Apparently the official line is that 'Jedi' would be accepted as a religion, as the box on the census to be filled in for religion, is 'self declaration' so it's immaterial if the religion exists or not)  I'm very glad to see that our Central Statistics office are up to date with their work too.

I'm not sure it would be a good idea to have Jedi as a religion in Ireland.  Imagine if Darth Vader succeeded in taking over leadership of the Jedi Knights (as he has tried to on several occasions), we would then be back to having the leader of a religious order with a poor record when it comes to children and child abuse....

I thought I better get some feedback on this so I asked one of the more prominent Star Wars characters for a comment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jt1DYifbZ0s&feature=related

I think he was agreeing with me, but Google Translate doesn't do 'Wookie' so I am not quite sure about that either...